Emotional Validation

Everyone wants to feel that they matter. They want to be heard and seen, and they want their feelings to be understood and accepted by a person who feels cared for and supported. Yet, too often a person can feel that their inner experiences are judged and denied. This can lead to low self-worth or feelings of shame. Validating a loved one and acknowledging that you hear them does not mean you have to agree with what is being relayed; hearing a person and agreeing with them are two different things.
The Roots of Invalidation
IgorStepovik Shutterstock
Not feeling validated can have childhood roots. The mother who doles out tough love in knee-jerk fashion — oh, just shut up for goodness sake — may be invalidating the emotions of their child. The mother ends up rejecting her child’s feelings and convinces him that his feelings are wrong and not viable. This can damage a child’s emotional world; he may learn to distrust himself and discount how he feels.

Can invalidation lead to poor emotional regulation?
How would a person be able to regulate their emotions if they think their feelings are all wrong? This negative view can tip a person into a depressive or anxious state. However, validating one’s emotions and feelings can build a sense of Understanding one’s emotions and help a person manage their emotions more effectively.